Adoption http://wp.me/s1tOVr-adoption

no immaculate conception
more like immaculate selection
to pick a being
has so much meaning
to give someone a belonging to
a feeling bigger than you
where existence may feel alone
but instead you give a home
offer a sense of completion
that might be in…

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Old ways don’t always die
they often stay alive
some things are ingrained
taught to stay within the brain
some people are taught to hate
some people are taught to mutilate
taught that some are lesser than
taught to spread oppression across the land
these…

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If I committed suicide no one would understand why. I know people would think why would I go that far, everyone has to deal with stresses in their life, that’s life. You shouldn’t kill yourself… The problem is I feel some stresses you shouldn’t have to go through. People make life harder than it has to be, esp with their ill feelings making things bad for others. I find many things in my life, and life in general to be stupid, illogical. And, I don’t know if my feelings come from this disconnect I have with me and the world, and obviously the world with me, but I feel it can be so much better and yet it’s not. Crazy, I stay hopeful (the reason I made it this far), cause I feel it can’t really be like this. Like they’re times I believe this can’t be real, it has to be a joke, it’s all in my head. But, as yet of, this is what’s considered reality. What makes it more difficult is that my dreams show me how much better it can be, why couldn’t they be reality. They are so vivid. I wake up feeling like I hardly slept, to feel a totally different way. It feels as though I’m living in two separate worlds… I’m not saying my dream world may be real, I’m just saying it sucks that I can clearly visualize and feel something different that in reality can’t seem to be. There in lies the problem, if I can’t have my world (I call/describe as purple) what is the point of living. I might be driven to that. So far, again, I stay hopeful, with the thought I don’t want to hurt my cousin, who I consider like a sister, Jordan, and that I do want to, at least, adopt a child and be the mother I’ve always dreamed about. But I don’t know which side will win, my cloud or my hope…

with this I still manage to be a nice, and joking person. 1, I can’t judge if I don’t treat others the way I wanted to be treated. 2, I feel If I’m not like that who else will be (You can’t depend on some else to be the good person instead). 3, It just helps. And, If you didn’t realize it, my words, my advice (if even if they sound mean) are to help, to get people to the place they want to be, cause obviously I understand… Still hoping to get to the place I want be

noire-pandora:

I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.

(via heyfunniest)

they speak down on your name
them I don’t blame
people trained to complain
I don’t listen anyway
they don’t love me like you
don’t do the things you do
wouldn’t know if words are true
but I put my trust in you

where did her love go
did it blow out the window
the night she was cold
after not feeling alone
then she got a lot of love
took it all to feel above
it put her on another level
this time she was on a pedestal
her body was on fire
every time they did admire

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All that passive aggressive sensitive ass shit (from a male) I don’t care if I do it, I’m a female! You should not be upset in the same manner as I am upset. Even worse, you’re being more whiney/difficult than I am